How I Describe Good Friends

I remember creating a "policy" for friendship way back in college. It was based on the concept that when I really needed someone, my friends better be there for me because that's what friends are there for.

To be honest, looking back, I wish I knew what I know now. I would have added more qualifications to be a true friend in my circle. I would have saved myself a lot of heartbreak and tears if I knew how to identify people I could actually trust. 💔

I have a small inner circle with whom I communicate with on a regular basis. I came to the conclusion several years ago that my friends had common qualities. That told me something about who I should friend in the future and what works for me. 🥰

Here are their common qualities and why I require this:

1. Communication: I hear from them on a regular basis. They check up on me as I do them. They are good listeners. They can carry on stimulating conversation. They can repair an upset between us. All of these points are vital for creating good relationships and getting good support to achieve your goals in life and more importantly not to be distracted by people who have shitty communication skills. 💬

2. Support: They build me up when I am down. They have POSITIVE solutions. They will make time in their busy schedule if I really need them. They provide solutions not more problems if I need help. 💪

3. Ethical: They keep their word. They make good choices in life. They are honest. I admire most of their decisions, behavior, way of thinking. They make right where they were wrong. ⚖️

4. Self-Improvement: They are continually self-improving. Continually looking at themselves and figuring out ways to be better. They also have the same knowledge I do so when we communicate, we are both aware of the same solutions and information that can make our lives better and just remind each other of those. 📚

5. Goal-Oriented: All my friends and especially my inner circle are seriously ambitious. Continually looking at the next goal and have the big picture mindset. They understand the importance of positive thinking and positive feedback. They understand why it's important to have goals in life. They encourage me to go large in life with my expectations and what I want to get from it. 🎯

Types of people I will not let in my circle or even associate with and why:

1. Unethical Choices: Those who choose actions and behavior that do not align with my way of life, I do not associate with. They have the right to be who they are but it doesn't mean I need to include them in my vital life circle. People's viewpoints, behavior and choices can be contagious. Influential. I do not want that type of energy in my circle because it disagrees with my ethical choices. It can contaminate my vibes. 😵

2. Dishonest People: If they lied once, they will lie again. Some people are truly convincing too! Some people make YOU feel crazy. I've learned to identify types of people well in terms of who I CAN trust. Dishonest people also have dishonest behavior that they think you should ignore or go along with. 😒

3. Not Goal-Oriented: I'm a big believer in that saying: you are the five people you surround yourself with. I think energy is contagious in a way. For example, you are in a group of four people who are not motivated and like to do nothing all day. They have no goals. Being a part of that group and experiencing that energy (even if you are a positive person) is going to effect you negatively. It's the power of the majority. That's why surrounding yourself with the RIGHT people can make all the difference in your life! 😩

4. Naysayers: These are the types of people who do not actually support you. They can be overtly mean or invalidating or they can be sly about it. They can pretend to be your friend but make subtle comments to you that you miss and yet feel terrible about yourself afterwards but because it's so subtle - you don't notice. These people can "kill" you. ☠️

I'm sure you can take a look in your own life and see what I am talking about. Who affects you positively and who affects you negatively. Some people can be a little confusing too which is why I recommend learning more about different personality types.

I hope this helps. If you need more help, contact me and I can provide coaching or resources that are right for you.

#Friendship #Friends #Life #InnerCircle #Goals